30andthinking

Ever get the “so, anyone special in your life these days?” question from a relative or whomever?  Followed by an unmistakable sense of disappointment when you tell them “no”?  This happened to me recently.  And I know that this is probably a much more common occurrence and different situation all together for you women out there.  Or, maybe not.   At any rate, I’m sorry if this doesn’t quite relate to you, but I need to get this off my chest. Let me start off by saying that I’m all for committed relationships… when I find a girl that I want to go down that road with, I’m fine with going down it full steam ahead.  That being said though, I don’t see the point in getting into a relationship if you know it’s a dead end right from the start.  It seems everywhere you turn these days you’re hearing about a friend or loved-one’s want or (even scarier) “NEED” to find someone.  And that almost always ends up with them complaining a few months later about how their relationship sucks.  Well, of course it sucks!  You went out looking for it!!!  It’s like going to the store on an empty stomach- at the end of the day you just find yourself broke and carrying a bunch of baggage, filled with the closest thing you could find to whatever you were hungry for.  I never quite understood why people try so hard to rush into something that should just happen naturally.  A friend of mine once brought up a half-good point regarding the whole sex end of it.  I get that.  Not wanting to sleep around and seem like a player to everyone.  Or, maybe it’s just not that easy for you to get a girl.  Both are good points.  But what’s worse- looking like a player while fulfilling your needs safely and responsibly?  Or, option B, jumping into relationship after relationship, and breaking heart after heart (not to mention your own sense of self-worth), until everyone around you sees you as an asshole/scumbag?  When did having responsible sex with a mutually interested/drunk partner turn into a bad thing anyway?!  Just kidding… kind of.

I’d actually like to hear a few comments from the women out there on that point… which do you think is the lesser of the two evils?

Anyway, I know a lot of this comes from being lonely, worrying about ending up alone, and the need for companionship.  And I get that, I really do.  Those are very real things.  But what I’d like to know is, for every forced relationship that ends up in the shitter, how many missed opportunities have passed you by?  Opportunities with people you may have had a real spark with, but couldn’t because you’re with someone else- someone you don’t even really want to be with anyway.  Not to mention the whole idea that, maybe the fact that you’re so distracted from living your own life, and unable to enjoy just being by yourself, could be a big reason why girls aren’t attracted to you in the first place!?

I guess I’ll wrap this little rant up by saying that I’m perfectly happy being single until I meet someone I have some real chemistry and potential with.  I’m having a blast just being me.  And, I hope that’s not an uncommon thing.   And to all those who love to ask about people’s relationship status… don’t ask a question you might not want to hear the answer to.  Oh!  And one last thing (probably the most important)…  Guys/Girls, don’t waste your time, or others’ with bullshit relationships.  And if you really need to, fine.  Just don’t bitch to the rest of us about it not working out all the time.

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